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Stephanie's avatar

Stunning. You've quickly become one of my favorite writers to read on here.

I'm still battling these same fears myself. I just got my shotgun back out, but almost half heartedly. We'll see how it goes, or who comes a callin'. ❤

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Brooke Solis's avatar

Stephanie, thank you so much. I completely understand getting the shotgun out – I don’t think I’d ever be able to recover from a love without the shotgun, I’m just not that evolved. I hope though, the fears subside. I hope it’s peace that comes calling.

Thank you for reading x

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suranxoxox's avatar

i really am so glad i stumbled across your substack you write about themes close to my own heart in such an expressive and authentic way ♥️

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Brooke Solis's avatar

Suranjana, I’m so thrilled you’re here and this piece or these themes resonate and thanks to a random twist of substack fate we can connect on all these elusive fears and weird human things. Thank you so much for reading x

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Raine Marie's avatar

I feel this in my bones! The back and forth of offering up yourself, and the vulnerability to be a conduit of creation itself require us to expand and hold desires like no other task demands of us. I find my art practice exists when I'm on the bookends of emotion. Love, anger, fear, overwhelm. I use it to meditate, to roar and pour it out. When I am content and dreamy I barely pick up a pencil. Love your work x

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Brooke Solis's avatar

Yes! Raine, all of this. I feel love and (art) truly push me more than anything. Intimacy especially, pushes me right to the edges of myself. To have both, it just pushes me over every edge. That is precisely it – the bookends of emotion. I love that, and totally resonate. It’s strange, I keep trying to find a life of complete comfort and find that when I get there, it is all a bit barren and boring and fruitless for a life of art. Thank you so much. And for your thoughts xx

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Lili Koen's avatar

This is so good, so much resonance.....I like to think that the kind of art we make with love in our corner is scarier and perhaps more vulnerable and less in our logical control, driven largely by emotion. Probably why sometimes feels so shitty and even resistance inducing 🙃

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Jaki's avatar

I feel this

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Carly Rose's avatar

Mmm love and art - it took me years to trust that they could coexist and that when the fear is cradled, listened to and acknowledged (but not the driver) love is often the very muse for my art.

Loved reading this.

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Susy's avatar

“It makes sense that attacking love is my way out of facing my future as an artist.” 🤍

You are one of my favorite human beings. The truth pouring out of you is so magnetizing. ✨

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Violet Farraday's avatar

Gods, I adore this (and you, of course). The push-pull of love and art...and learning as we grow that the reality is that love MAKES art, that the two are inextricably linked. I'm honestly in my own "fuck love" season, heh, but that's cos I'm working on finding MYSELF again. I have to learn who I am to become my own art again. And then maybe I'll put down the shotgun and let someone on the porch ;) Right now I'm content with just me & the cat.

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Sara Szatmary's avatar

Thank you for this raw, beautiful introspection. I find myself holding back sharing my art for fear that it will hurt those I love. Will they seem themselves in the characters and be hurt? Will a theme from our own life lurk to close to the one in my fictional world? Love requires sacrifice, in my opinion anyway. The question I've yet to answer is, what is a worthwhile sacrifice? Not my whole self, surely. But what about a story? Is one story more important than the feelings of someone I love? Or is it the beginning of a slippery slope where their insecurity becomes a specter of my own creativity, holding me back in ways large yet imperceptible? But I digress... Thank you for articulating this dance that we do as women and creatives. It clearly hit home.

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Gwen Yi 🌻's avatar

You are transcendent as always my love 💥💋💘🌼✨

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