"Dreams take on many tones, I've learnt. The deepest ones have a feralness to them. A grit. They are often laced with want and fear simultaneously. They're reckless, in a way. Pursuing them feels reckless. But that's what I know I want – to be reckless in pursuit of my dreams. To write with something like Thelma and Louise abandon. Petrol engined off the side of a cliff into death and heaven."
Adore this Brooke. I think the thing about dreams is that the more we care about something, the easier it is to convince ourselves we’ll be terrible at it. There’s something about voicing a want aloud that gives power to it, the power to have it taken away. I think dreams are a bit like secrets this way.
Reading this was also a reminder of how the writers you idolize (and I do idolize you lovely) can have the same insecurities and creative challenges that you do. I love your words, love the visceral quality of how you write. When I first encountered them I thought “my gods, that’s a good writer, that’s someone who knows what they’re doing.” It can be easier to forget that the people we admire are just as human as we are, walking the same path of trying to find their voice and speak it true. Thank you for sharing your dreams and fears and human heart with us. Trying new paths can be scary, but it’s worth it and will only serve to make your writing even more you.
Kerani, your comment felt like a big burst of sun. Your thoughts on dreams are so insanely accurate. It feels like we often put as much space between ourselves and our dreams as possible without losing eyesight of it. Fluttering around its edges. Yes, that prickles my skin —dreams and secrets do share the same quality. Pulled from similar shadows. What a thought.
Not lying. My cheeks turn pink at compliments. They’re pink. So thank you. But absolutely. The creative challenges and insecurities are part of the path and they all have different accents and inflections but I feel we all have them, to a varying degree. Especially when you care intensely about something.
There’s this scent of truth I believe we are trying to find within ourselves, writers and artists and creatives even more so. And we’re all following it and I feel most of us don’t feel we’ve arrived. To choose to create, which is to always look toward another horizon in which something may be created means the arrival point forever shifting. We’re all in this limbo. Limbo is hard. Like you expressed, we’re all human and we’re all trying and we all want to voice it. And I love that kinship. This kinship. Here’s to following the scent of ourselves. I feel like I’m basking in warmth. Thank you.
"The scent of truth" - I love that. I completely agree, artists and writers and creatives, we're all chasing something. Whether it's a thought, a feeling, an idea of ourselves, there's a pursuit to what we do that keeps us moving forward. If we weren't chasers, we wouldn't put ourselves through the incomprehensible mess that is trying to pull your heart out through your hands and shape it into something other people can see. Your words remind me of a conversation that I had with my therapist recently - I was reflecting on how much I've grown in creative confidence in the past few years, but that I still constantly measure myself against a distant horizon. I chalked this up to my own, goals-oriented personality, but maybe it's something more than that? Maybe always gazing into the distance is part of what makes artists artists. We're all longing for something, constantly seeking and finding and seeking again.
I thought I had subscribed already but noticed I hadn’t! So just made that right - thank you as always for sharing your soul, although I’m not a writer I can relate so deeply with the feelings you’ve perfectly put into words, of dreaming , death & rebirth to move into new
You! I’m so grateful for you xx
"Dreams take on many tones, I've learnt. The deepest ones have a feralness to them. A grit. They are often laced with want and fear simultaneously. They're reckless, in a way. Pursuing them feels reckless. But that's what I know I want – to be reckless in pursuit of my dreams. To write with something like Thelma and Louise abandon. Petrol engined off the side of a cliff into death and heaven."
Gods, THIS!!
I’m thrilled you liked it 💌💌
Adore this Brooke. I think the thing about dreams is that the more we care about something, the easier it is to convince ourselves we’ll be terrible at it. There’s something about voicing a want aloud that gives power to it, the power to have it taken away. I think dreams are a bit like secrets this way.
Reading this was also a reminder of how the writers you idolize (and I do idolize you lovely) can have the same insecurities and creative challenges that you do. I love your words, love the visceral quality of how you write. When I first encountered them I thought “my gods, that’s a good writer, that’s someone who knows what they’re doing.” It can be easier to forget that the people we admire are just as human as we are, walking the same path of trying to find their voice and speak it true. Thank you for sharing your dreams and fears and human heart with us. Trying new paths can be scary, but it’s worth it and will only serve to make your writing even more you.
Kerani, your comment felt like a big burst of sun. Your thoughts on dreams are so insanely accurate. It feels like we often put as much space between ourselves and our dreams as possible without losing eyesight of it. Fluttering around its edges. Yes, that prickles my skin —dreams and secrets do share the same quality. Pulled from similar shadows. What a thought.
Not lying. My cheeks turn pink at compliments. They’re pink. So thank you. But absolutely. The creative challenges and insecurities are part of the path and they all have different accents and inflections but I feel we all have them, to a varying degree. Especially when you care intensely about something.
There’s this scent of truth I believe we are trying to find within ourselves, writers and artists and creatives even more so. And we’re all following it and I feel most of us don’t feel we’ve arrived. To choose to create, which is to always look toward another horizon in which something may be created means the arrival point forever shifting. We’re all in this limbo. Limbo is hard. Like you expressed, we’re all human and we’re all trying and we all want to voice it. And I love that kinship. This kinship. Here’s to following the scent of ourselves. I feel like I’m basking in warmth. Thank you.
"The scent of truth" - I love that. I completely agree, artists and writers and creatives, we're all chasing something. Whether it's a thought, a feeling, an idea of ourselves, there's a pursuit to what we do that keeps us moving forward. If we weren't chasers, we wouldn't put ourselves through the incomprehensible mess that is trying to pull your heart out through your hands and shape it into something other people can see. Your words remind me of a conversation that I had with my therapist recently - I was reflecting on how much I've grown in creative confidence in the past few years, but that I still constantly measure myself against a distant horizon. I chalked this up to my own, goals-oriented personality, but maybe it's something more than that? Maybe always gazing into the distance is part of what makes artists artists. We're all longing for something, constantly seeking and finding and seeking again.
A beautiful opening sentence. It pulses with coiled energy. And the rest of the essay feels like the release of that energy. Beautifully done.
Thank you so much Jeffrey, I always love reading your thoughts. It gives me another window into my pieces. Much appreciation.
Giving another window is a nice way of putting it. And I guess that's what readers are for!
“To gift myself: the time to experiment, to discover my true voice.”
exactly
It really does feel as indulgent as a gift. Even though I think maybe it shouldn’t? Thank you for reading Amani x
I feel this down to my core. I am in the same space as you. And your words so perfectly give shape to the feelings. Thank you.
I thought I had subscribed already but noticed I hadn’t! So just made that right - thank you as always for sharing your soul, although I’m not a writer I can relate so deeply with the feelings you’ve perfectly put into words, of dreaming , death & rebirth to move into new