I'm currently working on a piece on my queerness myself. It's challenging to define. Thank you for writing and expressing it this way; we belong to ourselves, whatever versions we want. Queerness envelops my identity the more I grant myself permission of belonging in this space too. x
Claudia, I would love to read it once you're finished. And it really is challenging. It's not only culturally complex but also personally complex. I read your line of belonging to ourselves in whatever versions we want and it hits something in my marrow. This. And yes. And this. To know you feel enveloped in your own permission pushes me towards the same. So thank you. x
I cannot even tell you all the feels this made me feel, as a woman who has only fallen in love with and dated men but who has also forever been in awe of women & so captivated by them & thinks they’re really pretty & just wants to lie with them but feels now too shy and out of practice and awkward (cos that’s less cute now that I’m 31 than it was at 19, you know...). I love your words. They are syrupy and so tangibly evocative.
Leïla, my heart thrummed in my chest from recognition. Reflection. Mirrors in your comment. I see you and feel you, and I'm so glad you liked this piece. It really is like that, they are awe-inspiring. It's can be all be complicated and also simple and also confusing and also clear. What a ride being human is. Thank you so much, endlessly.
Just butterfly hearts all round. Oh, I love that! I love photographers. And the female gaze. There's just something so mysterious and balming and softly exciting being seen by female/feminine eyes.
Ask it if I can love this man I love and still wear the word. Ask it if that's really my name written on the invitation. Ask it to look at me. Ask it if I belong. Ask it if I can wear it my own way. And maybe, like a dream girl fever film,
So damn relatable.
In love with women,
And
In love with
My man.
Wikipedia queer,
And not that keen to get out of bed at 8pm on a Friday night to go to a party filled with.... modern love?
This is beautiful and so relatable. As a woman who has only ever been with men, it took me until I was 39 to be able to acknowledge that I also love women. My first sexual experience was with another girl, after all, pretending to make out while we fantasized the other to be the boys we were crushing on. Feeling her body pressed to mine, her hands caressing me, her energy vibrating and dancing with my own. It was such a formative moment. How could I not see? I mean, I guess mormon patriarchy did its job well, because I was blind for decades.
Even though I’ve had beautiful experiences/relationships with women, I never considered myself “bisexual/queer.” I’ve learned that some people have the need for these titles in order to “know themselves”, but I always found titles limiting to my ever expanding, fluid like nature. I never wanted to lock myself into this box even though, by text book definition, we are that.
So many questions, ponderings, aching feelings in my chest over what it all means. Both heartbreaking and beautiful. Our sexualities are so intricate and unique... hate the idea of having to tick a box to adhere to a sticky label. Feels better to just embrace the fullness of me and see where the wind wants to take me to explore ✨
This has inspired me to write poetry on my own queerness. Always adore your words Brooke. Thank you! ❤️
I love your writing. I can feel myself in your words, wondering how to wear the label/identity myself. Feeling like a teenager again in the world of women, lots to learn.
I can relate to that need to belong, the feeling I’m not legit, like I haven’t lived in a real queer skin long enough to qualify. It was hard when I needed validation from visibly queer people to validate me.
But this queer life sinks in like a fragrant lotion and becomes a part of you. You walk and breathe with. Hopefully that time comes for you. Much luck on your journey.
I so heavily relate to this. Thank you for writing it.
One of my favorite definitions of queer is bell hooks’ - “‘Queer' not as being about who you're having sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but 'queer' as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.”
I'm currently working on a piece on my queerness myself. It's challenging to define. Thank you for writing and expressing it this way; we belong to ourselves, whatever versions we want. Queerness envelops my identity the more I grant myself permission of belonging in this space too. x
Claudia, I would love to read it once you're finished. And it really is challenging. It's not only culturally complex but also personally complex. I read your line of belonging to ourselves in whatever versions we want and it hits something in my marrow. This. And yes. And this. To know you feel enveloped in your own permission pushes me towards the same. So thank you. x
Same here! 🍾
I cannot even tell you all the feels this made me feel, as a woman who has only fallen in love with and dated men but who has also forever been in awe of women & so captivated by them & thinks they’re really pretty & just wants to lie with them but feels now too shy and out of practice and awkward (cos that’s less cute now that I’m 31 than it was at 19, you know...). I love your words. They are syrupy and so tangibly evocative.
I love this viewpoint. (Go you!!!!)
Leïla, my heart thrummed in my chest from recognition. Reflection. Mirrors in your comment. I see you and feel you, and I'm so glad you liked this piece. It really is like that, they are awe-inspiring. It's can be all be complicated and also simple and also confusing and also clear. What a ride being human is. Thank you so much, endlessly.
Heart flutters right back at you. 🦋 I’m a photographer, too, so it’s been so interesting as well exploring that dance with muses for my work...
Just butterfly hearts all round. Oh, I love that! I love photographers. And the female gaze. There's just something so mysterious and balming and softly exciting being seen by female/feminine eyes.
Beautiful x
This is so good!! You’ve just coined the term “Wikipedia queer” haha brilliant.
Thank you so much Amani! I appreciate that. Hahaha that’s got to be a milestone right?
Ask it if I can love this man I love and still wear the word. Ask it if that's really my name written on the invitation. Ask it to look at me. Ask it if I belong. Ask it if I can wear it my own way. And maybe, like a dream girl fever film,
So damn relatable.
In love with women,
And
In love with
My man.
Wikipedia queer,
And not that keen to get out of bed at 8pm on a Friday night to go to a party filled with.... modern love?
This is beautiful and so relatable. As a woman who has only ever been with men, it took me until I was 39 to be able to acknowledge that I also love women. My first sexual experience was with another girl, after all, pretending to make out while we fantasized the other to be the boys we were crushing on. Feeling her body pressed to mine, her hands caressing me, her energy vibrating and dancing with my own. It was such a formative moment. How could I not see? I mean, I guess mormon patriarchy did its job well, because I was blind for decades.
Hi Brooke, this is so very relatable. Thank you for sharing it.
Even though I’ve had beautiful experiences/relationships with women, I never considered myself “bisexual/queer.” I’ve learned that some people have the need for these titles in order to “know themselves”, but I always found titles limiting to my ever expanding, fluid like nature. I never wanted to lock myself into this box even though, by text book definition, we are that.
So many questions, ponderings, aching feelings in my chest over what it all means. Both heartbreaking and beautiful. Our sexualities are so intricate and unique... hate the idea of having to tick a box to adhere to a sticky label. Feels better to just embrace the fullness of me and see where the wind wants to take me to explore ✨
This has inspired me to write poetry on my own queerness. Always adore your words Brooke. Thank you! ❤️
I love your writing. I can feel myself in your words, wondering how to wear the label/identity myself. Feeling like a teenager again in the world of women, lots to learn.
Thank you for this beautiful expression in the words I could never find
I can relate to that need to belong, the feeling I’m not legit, like I haven’t lived in a real queer skin long enough to qualify. It was hard when I needed validation from visibly queer people to validate me.
But this queer life sinks in like a fragrant lotion and becomes a part of you. You walk and breathe with. Hopefully that time comes for you. Much luck on your journey.
Beautifully written, loved this.
I so heavily relate to this. Thank you for writing it.
One of my favorite definitions of queer is bell hooks’ - “‘Queer' not as being about who you're having sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but 'queer' as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.”