Oh this hits home on many levels. I never had that back and forth with my husband, thankfully, but everyone in my life seemed to have an opinion on how I'd change my mind. Gorgeously, vulnerably written. ❤️
The pervasive belief from others that you might change your mind can become very exhausting. I love reading of good love like yours, when conversations like above do not happen. (I now have a fiancé whose values align with mine, it changes everything.)
God, this is so beautifully visceral, Brooke. I have always known since I was a wee Vimonster I never wanted to be a mother. I fought so hard for half my life (started seriously pursuing it at 18, finally my bilateral salpingectomy happened when I was 36) to be sterilized...so many years of "oh you're too young" or "oh you'll change your mind" and other dismissive bullshit I heard so often that would send me into a rage. After my surgery, I cried with the thought of the freedom. I no longer needed to worry.
To know from such a young age, I can only imagine your vivid sense of self-knowing was a force. I have experienced dismissiveness simply just from not wanting hormonal contraception, I can only imagine what your experience with seeking sterilisation would have been like.
The freedom you felt makes me consider the many routes one may take to arrive at freedom. How personal it is, to each of us.
I love this snippet of a scene. I am curious how your journey will unfold. I too have experience with this but perhaps from a different angle. I'm not sure where you are headed but I had wanted to be a mother and yet the Universe was calling me in another direction. I had the experience of grieving, a choice that I made in order to move forward. I’m here to remind people that this isn’t something you ‘get over' exactly. It’s something you honor — a tender truth you grow with, until it becomes a holy and dignified way of being a woman who is not a mother. Thanks for sharing.
What a thought-provoking (and beautiful) response. Reading this really pushes me to consider beyond choice, that some women may become women who are not mothers by way of surrender or fate. And that our nuanced cosmic roles only become more varied and complex and beautiful when we consider that that love must be placed somewhere.
I think we as a world are lucky to have people like you, for your wisdom, guidance and capacity for care, as evident above.
Thank you for your kind words. I believe you hit it on the head with the phrase about "a love that must be placed somewhere." That has been my journey...a realization that "the baby" is a metaphor for love. The love we were given or not given from our parents. The love we wish to give and receive in the world, to our partners and to ourselves. When you let the journey of love break you open, it doesn't matter if you become a parent or not, you have fulfilled your legacy.
Enjoyed reading this. Thank you!
I'm very glad you enjoyed it Jane
"[...] and three men fill the silence." ❤️🩹
Love that you picked this moment up, Annie.
This was like a slap in the face.
this part, though.
Can’t wait to read more. Love it
Many more to come, on a variety of different topics and subjects!
Oh this hits home on many levels. I never had that back and forth with my husband, thankfully, but everyone in my life seemed to have an opinion on how I'd change my mind. Gorgeously, vulnerably written. ❤️
The pervasive belief from others that you might change your mind can become very exhausting. I love reading of good love like yours, when conversations like above do not happen. (I now have a fiancé whose values align with mine, it changes everything.)
Thank you very much.
God, this is so beautifully visceral, Brooke. I have always known since I was a wee Vimonster I never wanted to be a mother. I fought so hard for half my life (started seriously pursuing it at 18, finally my bilateral salpingectomy happened when I was 36) to be sterilized...so many years of "oh you're too young" or "oh you'll change your mind" and other dismissive bullshit I heard so often that would send me into a rage. After my surgery, I cried with the thought of the freedom. I no longer needed to worry.
To know from such a young age, I can only imagine your vivid sense of self-knowing was a force. I have experienced dismissiveness simply just from not wanting hormonal contraception, I can only imagine what your experience with seeking sterilisation would have been like.
The freedom you felt makes me consider the many routes one may take to arrive at freedom. How personal it is, to each of us.
I love this snippet of a scene. I am curious how your journey will unfold. I too have experience with this but perhaps from a different angle. I'm not sure where you are headed but I had wanted to be a mother and yet the Universe was calling me in another direction. I had the experience of grieving, a choice that I made in order to move forward. I’m here to remind people that this isn’t something you ‘get over' exactly. It’s something you honor — a tender truth you grow with, until it becomes a holy and dignified way of being a woman who is not a mother. Thanks for sharing.
What a thought-provoking (and beautiful) response. Reading this really pushes me to consider beyond choice, that some women may become women who are not mothers by way of surrender or fate. And that our nuanced cosmic roles only become more varied and complex and beautiful when we consider that that love must be placed somewhere.
I think we as a world are lucky to have people like you, for your wisdom, guidance and capacity for care, as evident above.
Left me with much to think about, thank you.
Thank you for your kind words. I believe you hit it on the head with the phrase about "a love that must be placed somewhere." That has been my journey...a realization that "the baby" is a metaphor for love. The love we were given or not given from our parents. The love we wish to give and receive in the world, to our partners and to ourselves. When you let the journey of love break you open, it doesn't matter if you become a parent or not, you have fulfilled your legacy.